A brief post, while I’m thinking about it…
You see, an informant that I’m not at liberty to disclose the name of alerted me to the existence of an “Ultrascout” group ostensibly employed by the Illuminati called Outreach. Of course this peaked my interest, and I made sure my aluminum foil hat was snugly fitted to my head as I intently listened to his story. I ingested multiple grains of salt as he went on.
I’m not too big on conspiracy theories these days, and my interest in the Illuminati is mostly based on my devout Discordianism. So, thinking I was learning about an offshoot of Operation Mindfuck of which I was previously unaware, I was all ears… but for this particular story, there seemed to be no connection to the principal Discordians I was aware of. Moreover, my informant made me sit up a bit as his recounting of what he knew seemed to genuinely disturb him. If this was a put on, he was doing a fine job as an actor.
Even more disquieting was the fact that every time I’d think “perhaps I’ll look into this Outreach organization some more, or put something on my blog about it” my mind would suddenly go blank and I’d get hungry. Only later would I realize that I had intended to research the mysterious group but now found myself in a position where it was really inconvenient. All that I knew, all that I had questions about, would suddenly come back into focus the moment I was leaving for work, or about to go to bed. It was as though someone- or something- was making me forget!
As such I’m hesitant to even publish a blog about it now, but I’m eager to find out if anyone else has heard of these so-called Ultrascouts of the Illuminati. From what I understand, they’re responsible for all the menial task the shadowy initiates of Secret Societies don’t have time for, and possibly may have gone rogue due to in-fighting within the ranks. I’m even told this group has its origins with Yarmouth druidry in the 1660s, or even earlier in England. Around that time I also became aware of a book which purports to show for the first time pictorial evidence of a cult at Stonehenge who, it seems, were able to conjure UFOs! I’m not sure these things are connected, but it’s enough to make one paranoid. In my years on this planet, my paranoia has served me well.
Most astonishing of all, my anonymous informant was able to produce merit badges from the mystery scouts that he had smuggled out somehow. Among these were badges for Hypnotism, Crop Circle Making, Tulpamancy, Flocculation (a term I’m not familiar with and am afraid to look up), and Staring Out the Window. These have the humorous hallmarks of a Discordian prank, but also, if they are serious, the implications are more than a bit unnerving. And further, they seemed to be aged and tattered- they certainly weren’t just printed or produced for the sake of a gag. Who would go to those lengths just to mess with me?
I am feeling my eyelids droop as I type now, and will conclude the post before something happens. In addition to my memory issues, I’ve been suffering odd power outages and weird charges to my cable / internet bill. I suspect some “scout” has been mucking about with my utilities…
If anyone has info on any of this, or suggestions on how to prevent the “memory wipe” effects I’ve been dealing with, please let me know!
Yours in the Weird and Hail Eris!
Researcher and writer of Weird Stuff, Discordian Flying Saucer Enthusiast, and Certified Kook.